Some thoughts for my children


I was once asked if I loved all of my children the same? The answer to that is simple. I do not love all of my children the same, I love all of my children differently. Each is unique in personality and in needs. Some need more attention than the others; some need more affection than the others. I have tried to give each child what they need........ So, I replied ... "I love all of my children very much".

Take the time to learn about you ancestors. It can give you a very different perspective on you life. I know nine generations that came before me, and I have two generation that follows me. I now see myself as being one link in a long chain. It has made me aware of both my mortality and possible immortality.

Understand the difference between who you are and what you do. I am the product of all of the experiences of my life; all of the joy and all of the pain. Who I am is a result of the wisdom that I have gained from those experiences. I can not and would not change who I am. The things that I do are choices that I make. I have the ability to make different choices and take my life along a different path.

Always be willing to take a few seconds out of your day to 'pet' a dog or a small child. A pat on the head can mean so much to either of them and it costs you so little. They need to receive attention on demand, not when it is convenient for you. So, be willing to stop what you are doing for a few seconds. Sometimes they need affection and sometime they just need for you to acknowledge their existence. I have raised many children and many dogs. I found that their needs are really not all that different. ....... Ladies, you will find this also works well on men. Our needs are often not all that complex either.

Our society has always labeled men as the provider and woman as the care giver. One thing that I have learned is that in nature, with none of the trappings of civilization, that a man's roll is not to be the provider, but it is to be the protector, the defender of his family. In reality the women provided most of the food with fruits and grains, ect. The meat that the man brought home was actually a small portion of the total diet. On a purely instinctive basis a man needed to be willing to stand his ground, even to his death, to insure that his woman and children would survive. This is not a necessary behavior pattern in today's world, but the need is a hardwired part of a male brain. This is what is referred to today a "the male ego". Ladies, try to understand this in your man. Sometime he will not back down from a confrontation because he emotionally can not do it, even when he knows intellectually that it is a stupid thing to do. This is just the way that nature has made us. If you ever find yourself in this kind of situation with your man, never, ever tell him that his only choice is to walk away or you will leave him. If he truly loves you, he will walk away. Now, he has lost his self-respect and you have emotional castrated him. He walked away for you, but he will never again be the man that he was before.

As I have matured through the years, I have definitely become an "alpha" type male. I have a very dominate personality. This is not to be confused with having a dominating personality. I do not need nor desire to dominate or control all of the people around me. It is just that I can not accept anyone else trying to dominate me. I tell my children that I am like a big "silver back" gorilla. He is the uncontested ruler of his domain, but he has no need to dominate those around him because they all recognize his status as the head of the family group.

I find that my life is more like an onion that an apple. It did not occur as a continuous growth from childhood on, but was built layer by layer over the years. A life is build by a series of events, each affecting how you will respond to the next one. A lifetime is all of these events, one on top of the next. Maturity is in recognizing these different 'layer' and learning from them. We are a collection of the events in our lives. This is what makes us all unique.

Are you uncertain about what it means to be responsible? Hold your child in your arms and you should never again be uncertain about what your responsibilities are.I have no doubts about what it means to be responsible.

When I look at my children and my grandchildren, I know that it was worth all of the things that I have been through. They are the reason for my existence. They are the legacy that I will leave behind when I leave this world.

During my life, I have acquired a great deal of wisdom to offer to my children. This includes the wisdom to know that they will have to learn the lessons of life through their own experiences, just as we all had too.

I tend to be basically conservative in my philosophy and my politics. This is not due to any strict religious beliefs. It is just a pragmatic viewpoint. Traditional values have stood the test of time. A culture based upon them works. ................. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Things that are free are often worth what they cost.

Life has a funny way of suddenly turning complicated.

There is always an answer. It is just that people do not always want to here it.

Patience is a virtue, especially when you do not have any.

If you dream small, that is what you will end up with. Small dreams

If you do not like yourself, then it is unlikely than anyone else will either.
If I knew the answer, then I would not need to ask the question.

Good questions deserve good answers.

At the age of 54, I have often told my children that I am not as smart as I was at the age of 21. ......... But I am a whole lot wiser.

I live! While there is life there is always some hope.

I am a flawed man, but it is these flaws that create maturity and character.

I try to be a gentleman, but I know that I am a gentle man.The first is how I act while the second is who I am. I want to be both.

Most of the things that define who I am are subjective, not objective.

Do men understand woman? Do women understand men? Are we meant to ? These are interesting questions. Is there anyone who truly knows the answers?

Sometimes it is hard to tell whether the future is rushing towards us..... or simply rushing past us. Grab hold of the present and hang on tight

.Is it a good trade if you gain the wisdom of age at the cost of the loss of the passions of youth ?

Life will very seldom turn out as you expect it to.

Always be ready for the unexpected, because the unexpected will surely happen.

Accept the inevitable, but prepare for the rest.

Things will happen in their own time. Do not try to rush the inevitable.

It is true that in time all things will happen ............ if you wait long enough.

The one thing that you can always count on is that things will change.

Sometimes we need our friends to give us a good shot of ' reality '. We all need to re-evaluate our lives or views from time to time. This is how we grow as a person.

Do not confuse wisdom with knowledge. They are not the same.Wisdom is the understanding that you have gained from the knowledge you have acquired.

It is often the little things that turn out to be the most important.

"It depends" and "It is not that simple" are the only two answers that will always be correct for any question.

By the time that you are old enough to know better, it is too late.You have already made the mistakes.

All people are more than the sum of their parts. So get to know the whole person if you wish to understand them.

Sometimes success can be defined as succeeding one more time than you have failed. By that definition, I am successful.

Is there any true value to all of these saying that I have written? They are a reflection of the many experiences of my life. If there is no wisdom within them, then I have learned nothing.

I believe that any healthy relationship consists of three basic parts. There is the emotional relationship, the intellectual relationship, and the physical relationship. All three of these need to be nurtured in order to keep a relationship healthy.

• The emotional relationship where both parties are completely open and honest can be very emotionally fulfilling. If all the things said between them are all true then they have the ability to make each other emotional happy.
• The intellectual relationship is more than just having similar interests. It is the ability to talk to each other about all of the events of the day, of the world, of our life, and being able to listen as well as talk. "I do not want to hear it" is just not a good thing to say to your partner. You need be able to have conversations that are stimulating to both parties.
• The physical relationship. This is important. This is what ties the other two together. Sex is something that is meant to be enjoyed, and I believe should be playful and uninhibited and not rushed. But ……. "In it’s time, when it is time"

.Do you remember the blind faith that you had with your first love? It was to be eternal and it was not even possible for it to be any other way. The day that this blind faith was shattered was the day that I lost my ability to have a blind faith in anything else. Now I find that I have many more questions than answers. I wish that I could feel that faith again, if even for just a minute.

I once believed that being in a relationship was all about "our life together". Now that I am older and wiser, I understand that for a relationship to truly be healthy there needs to be "my life", "her life" and "our life". The trick is to develop the right balance between the three. A healthy relationship need to leave room for a person to grow.

A woman can give a man the greatest joy that he will ever feel or the greatest anguish that he will ever experience. The two of these often will come from the same woman. Undeniably, this applies to men as well. People have both the capacity to love and to hurt.

Love is not going to bed with someone at night when you see them at their best. Love is getting up with them in the morning when you will see them at their worst. This is when you will know if you truly love them.

There is no comfort to be found in an empty pair of arms.The comfort comes in filling them.

When you are young, you can feel the heat of passion so very strongly, but it is not until you become older and more experienced that you can truly understand the true depths that love can achieve.Passion and love are wonderful when they can be had together, but they are not the same thing. Passion is often a fleeting moment while love can fill the depths of your soul.

Loneliness is like a cancer of the heart. It can eat away at you until there is nothing left.

Learn how to "let go". Often a relationship just does not work out. Do not try to cling to something that is no longer there. It has taken me many years to finally understand this.

A healthy relationship is not a part time job.

Never turn down a free meal or a chance to go to the bathroom. For either, you can never be certain when to next opportunity will come.

There is a difference between taking a chance and taking a risk.You will never win unless you get into the game.

Being patient is a virtue, but being too patient will never get you to where you want to go.Sometimes you just have to make a stand and go with it.

Occasionally try to see yourself through the eyes of other people. It can be very enlightening.

Try not to chuckle too loudly the first time that you witness your child struggling with their own two-year old. You have just learned that there ' is ' justice in the world after all.

Be certain to always keep your word any time that you give it. Do not give your word or promise lightly. It is the currency of your life. Spend it wisely.

Do not promise what you can not deliver. Always deliver what you promise.

Think before you act. Think a lot before you react.

Seize the moment, because in a moment it will be gone forever.Have hope for the future. The future is all that you have to look forward to.

# posted by Steven E Erisman @ 10:14 PM 0 comments